This is what it looked like on my way to Mass this morning. A blanket of fog covered the valley and I was a little nervous driving- a relatively new thing for me, since my brush with death a couple weeks ago on this very stretch of road, on my way to Mass. I left home in something of a funk, and the foggy, gray day didn’t help.
Then it occurred to me that this is all about trust. I trust my (usually) trusty ‘Scursion'; I trust that the road ahead is still actually there and that if I proceed down the road I won’t come to any harm. I trust that I will make it to Mass this morning, safe and sound. And so I did.
There were two of us in attendance. There is something wonderfully intimate about attending Mass with just one other solitary soul. There is also something terribly sad about it. Here in this part of the country we have severe priest shortages; we spent from the summer of 2008 to August of 2009 without a resident priest. We had Mass once a month if we were lucky, and the rest of the time we had Sunday Service in the Absence of a Priest, conducted by visiting deacons.
Now we have a full time priest and he was willing to have 3 additional services per week besides Sunday. Because of poor attendance he has canceled Friday morning Mass. That’s a pity.
Anyway, after Mass and an abbreviated Adoration of The Blessed Sacrament, I left the church and the fog was still there. Fired up the ‘Scursion’ and hit the radio – Seal was singing Kiss From a Rose. “I’ve been kissed by a rose on the gray.”
Thank you, God.
Of course, that made me think of my rose photo – so here’s a kiss from a rose for you on this gray day.
As I drove home, I was thinking about the reading for today – it seems like every time I’ve been lector the last couple of months the readings have been about loving your brother, and if you can’t or don’t, then you can’t love God.
Then I got to thinking about what a friend recently said about love, that it was a choice. It is, but we don’t have to love those who harm us, in my opinion. I guess we need to love them as fellow human beings and children of God, but that’s it – at least, that’s all I can muster.
That led to this – Our souls are restless until they rest in You – St. Augustine said that.
And then something popped into my head that really startled me – “your soul is restless until it rests with mine.”
I was thinking a very specific thought at the time, and I was quite surprised when this thought was formed.
I can’t help but think this is the most unmitigated bit of arrogance I’ve ever come up with. But there you have it.
Which led me to one final thought in this scattered bit of thinking – it’s about soul mates. If you’ve been reading this blog for any time at all you know that I’m obsessing about the soul and constantly thinking about it. It occurred to me that when our souls rest with each other is when they most easily rest in God.
That is what it means to have a soul mate.
Over and out.